Promise Keepers, a five-year-old Promise Keepers movement calling men to honor Christ by building up their wives, children, churches and communities, is the subject of wonder nationwide. Everyone from Madison Avenue media conglomerates to the next door neighbor wants to know what incites thousands of men to plunk down $50+ to enter a stadium where there is no ball, liquor or Swedish Bikini team in sight.
I attended Promise Keepers' Los Angeles conference in early May not to learn what attracts men. I already knew that. The attraction is, as NEWSWEEK puts it, "The Gospel of Guyhood." It's Scripture taught by sports metaphors, warrior-like challenges to righteousness, and a tear and a pat on the back, maybe even a hug. It's also opening up to guys who understand, even when the subject is abuse, alcohol, sexual impurity, or lack of financial integrity.
The basic stuff I knew because I attended the 1993 Promise Keepers conference in Boulder, Colorado and have written about the movement. What I didn't know, what I came to find out, was if Promise Keepers could genuinely break down racial barriers in the Church.
MY BROTHERS, THE SUSPECTS
When I speak in public about race relations in the church, I often say that it's like the 1960's all over again. Our nation has struggled with race for four decades. But the basic white Evangelical church has just begun acknowledging that race issues are legitimate.
I spoke this year at Westmont College and Biola University on the implications of California's Proposition 187. Most students could not understand that most Latinos felt targeted because of their race, no matter their citizenship status. They kept asking why I as a Latino Christian concerned myself with race when the Bible says in Christ we are one?
I encounter this kind of simplistic thinking everywhere I go, so I assumed it would jump up and bite me at Promise Keepers. Indeed, the first Promise Keepers plenary speaker I talked to said, "Racism is made up by the media." Man, that burned me! It's one thing to acknowledge the existence of race problems, and then argue that existing opportunities for minorities outweigh race-based malevolence. It's another to say there is no problem. Another Promise Keeper, a Christian magazine editor, confided to me, "I don't get why PK focuses so much on this racial reconciliation."
But these two guys, while they may represent the views of many White Christian men, do not define Promise Keepers. Two signs gave me hope that Promise Keepers is genuinely dealing with racial issues.
CINCO DE MAYO
Latinos number four million in the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area, approximately 40% of the entire population. The majority of L.A. Latinos are of Mexican descent. The conference opened on one of our most popular holidays, Cinco de Mayo. For Promise Keepers to ignore or gloss over the holiday would have been a grave mistake. But Promise Keepers took the offensive. The master of ceremonies throughout the conference was Dr. Isaac Canales, head of Fuller Theological Seminary's Hispanic Church Ministries department. Among the opening worship songs, one was song bilingually, with the chorus containing a Spanish echo and one verse in its entirety sung in Spanish. I laughed with joy when I heard 72,548 men trying to sing "Lord, I Lift Your Name On High" in Spanish. After worship, Canales introduced Dr. Jesse Miranda, who opened with prayer (Miranda later closed the conference with prayer in Spanish.) Throughout the conference, at least one song per worship session was sung bilingually. Now, many of my Latino colleagues would say that Isaac as M.C., Jesse at prayer, and bilingual worship adds up to tokenism. Perhaps so. Then again, the majority White crowd at the largest gathering of Christian men in U.S. history warmly received their Latino brothers. It's progress.
TRULY RECONCILED?
The second sign of hope took longer to detect. E.V. Hill was scheduled to give the "racial reconciliation talk" on Saturday night. A press brief noted that Hill's address "could hold historic ramifications for Southern California, still healing from racial division." Eagerly I awaited Hill's presentation, hoping he would speak the raw truth, though I suspected he would gloss over the subject with spiritual platitudes, as I've heard him do before.
I was right. Hill said that after growing up hating White people, one day he met a White guy who modeled Jesus' love to him, and from that point on Hill no longer hated White folks. That was it. Nothing more. He made no indication of the process of healing and forgiveness common to everyone I know who has wrestled with this issue. Rather, Hill made it seem like all you needed to overcome racism was to wave the magic wand of Jesus.
Exactly what this crowd wants to hear, I thought. As Hill began addressing denominational reconciliation, I stewed. How could he say just apply Jesus and the problem goes away? But as I listened to the enthusiasm with which 72,000 men soaked up E.V.'s message, it occurred to me that maybe Hill was doing the right thing after all. Hill got a bunch of White guys, most of whom are clueless about racism in the church, to agree with him - a Black man - that racism indeed exists. Furthermore, he laid an important foundation for the future of racial reconciliation. Think of this: The next time a racially-tinged civil disturbance occurs in our nation, there will be half a million White Christian guys who can pick up the phone and call their Latino or African-American brother and say, "Hey, what's going on? What can I do?" All things considered, I now think Hill's presentation was a master stroke.
HE-MAN, WOMAN-HATER'S CLUB?
To prepare for this conference, I scanned the Internet for articles on Promise Keepers. I excavated clippings from the Detroit Free Press, the San Jose Mercury News, the Los Angeles Times, the Long Beach Press Telegram, and other publications. Most articles covered the curiosity angle ("What draws 70,000 men blah blah blah"). But many noted concerns about Promise Keepers' views on women's roles in church and society. In a typical account, Los Angeles Times Religion reporter John Dart noted that Promise Keepers has been rapped by critics for telling men to assume leadership in marriage, rather than behave as equal partners with their wives.
Dart has a point - to a point.
The general tone of PK/LA was indeed "male leadership in the home." Raul Ries suggested that we need to get back to the single income, male breadwinner, wife-at-home model. Gary Smalley talked about the inherent differences between men and women (the kind of stuff that gets Christian women in college going). The Promise Keepers audience in general has tended toward theological conservative as well as political conservativism, a Focus on the Family type of crowd. There wasn't much rhetoric about "equal partnership." And I'm sure some men in the crowd might go for women pastors, but looking around, I couldn't imagine the majority getting very excited about following a woman's leadership at church.
Though Promise Keepers' roots are decidedly "traditional," my friend Derek Gullage's observation is true: "If feminists believe the role of feminism is to strengthen women, they will have no problem with Promise Keepers." Much the same way E.V. Hill's talk is a small, positive step toward racial reconciliation, so Promise Keepers as a whole is a positive step forward for all women. The reason is simple. Promise Keepers is about men being better, godlier men. Whereas Joel Belz of WORLD magazine notes that most "traditional family" talking men refer to male headship of the household while neglecting Paul's call for men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, Promise Keepers whole-heartedly embraces the latter spiritual principle. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding: Wives of men who have attended a Promise Keepers conference almost invariably declare that their men - and their marriages - are better for it. I continue to share with many others concerns about the sociological meaning of men taking back their marriages, families, churches and communities. But I also know that the moment I fail to see the good for both men and women emerging from the Promise Keepers movement, I need to read a parable about logs in eyes.
GLORY
I packed Dodger Stadium along with 60,000 other crazies for U2's Zooropa concert. I protested against apartheid in Cape Town, South Africa while a government-imposed protest ban was in effect. I've attended pro baseball and pro basketball championships games. But none of these events compares to bellowing "Amazing Grace" at the top of my lungs with 72,548 other men.
Everything that is written about the bonding, the spiritual connection, the guys-will-be-guys atmosphere is true. I recorded the singing of "Amazing Grace" with my hand-held recorder, and when I played it back for my wife, I felt sad: I wished every Sunday could be like that.
But the connection between men goes even deeper. In tragedy, brotherhood is most transparent. Mid-morning on Saturday, Canales announced that 30-year-old Brian Red of Thousand Oaks was on his way home from the conference, having just received word that his wife had died. The ensuing silence wasn't just deafening; it was a neutron bomb exploding in our souls. I imagined myself in Brian's situation: On an unparalleled spiritual high with 72,000 other brothers in the Lord, I receive word that my beloved, on whom I will shower all of my newfound insight and tenderness, will not be there when I return.
"It makes me want to cry," I said to the stranger sitting next to me.
"Me, too," he said. "I would miss my wife so much."
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